


Captain Boring

by invisibledaemon



Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies)
Genre: Deleted Scenes, F/M, Gen, PANTS SWAP
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-24
Updated: 2017-10-24
Packaged: 2019-01-22 10:57:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12480000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/invisibledaemon/pseuds/invisibledaemon
Summary: Peter gets drunk at a party and subsequently thinks swapping pants with Drax is the funniest idea he's ever had.Gamora is bemused.





	Captain Boring

**Author's Note:**

> Based on [this](https://gamoraspeter.tumblr.com/post/166647574213/cutegroot-me-and-drax-switched-pants-last-week-in) deleted scene from vol 2

“Gamora!” Peter calls from somewhere behind her. She turns to see him and Drax on the other side of the bar. “Gamora, Gamora, Gamora!” He keeps shouting her name, even after she’s clearly spotted him, as they make their way up to her, giggling like children. **  
**

They have to weave in and out of groups of people, the bar packed mostly with Nova Corps officers, all of them there to celebrate Dey’s birthday. At first Gamora’s not sure why Peter and Drax are acting so giddy, nor what nonsense Peter has managed to get into in the five minutes it took her to grab more drinks from the bar, but she’s sure she’s about to find out.

It becomes obvious once they get nearer and she can properly see their clothing situation.

“Gamora,” Peter says again when they get up to her, still giggling. “Do you notice anything different?”

He gestures between himself and Drax, who bursts out laughing. “Anything different!” he repeats, slapping his leg as though it’s the most amusing thing he’s ever heard.

“Gee, no,” Gamora says dryly, lips twitching. “You’re too subtle.”

“Come on!” Peter grins. “Guess!”

“We swapped pants!” Drax blurts out, which makes Peter laugh again.

“You were supposed to let her guess!”

“She was taking too long,” Drax says unapologetically. “Let’s go see if Rocket can guess!”

“You go,” Peter says, waving him off and smiling dopily at Gamora. Drax shrugs and walks away a bit awkwardly, as Peter’s pants are several sizes too small for him. It’s a wonder they don’t rip.

“Here,” Gamora says, handing Peter his drink, though she’s now thinking he probably doesn’t need any more alcohol.

“Gamora,” he says very seriously, after taking the drink. “I’m wearing Drax’s pants.”

“I noticed,” she tells him. They’re loose on him, hanging lower on his hips than his own pants do, and there’s a large, orange-ish stain on one of the thighs. “ _Why_  are you wearing Drax’s pants?”

He bounces a bit in place, clearly excited to tell her. “’Cause he spilled his drink on his, and he said it felt gross and he wished he had another pair,” he says, talking very fast. “So I said it’s too bad you can’t just wear mine, and then I thought: he _can_  wear mine. So we went and I gave him my pants, but then I didn’t have any so he said I could wear his! Are you proud, babe?” he finishes, somewhat breathless. 

She furrows her brow. “Because you switched pants with someone?”

“Because I solved the problem,” he says like it’s obvious.

“Not really,” she points out. “The pants are still stained; you just switched who’s wearing them.”

He blinks, looking down as if to check that she’s telling the truth. Then he bursts out laughing again. “Oh my god, you’re right. That’s twice as hilarious. I can’t wait to tell Drax.”

Gamora shakes her head fondly. “Yes, it’s a very funny story, Peter. Now let’s go get you a glass of water.”

She steers him towards the bar, and he drapes an arm across her shoulders as they walk. “And cool, right?” he asks, suddenly sounding a bit more sober.

“Very cool.”

“Am  _I_  cool?”

She glances up at him to see that his previously gleeful expression has fallen into more of a pout. “Of course, Peter. Why?”

He sighs dramatically. “Lately it seems like Groot doesn’t think I’m as cool as he used to, y’know? Like, he used to think I was the coolest guy in the galaxy.” Gamora’s not sure that’s true, but she lets him continue uninterrupted. “Now all he seems to care about are those video games.”

Gamora rubs his side soothingly. She’s pointed out to him many times that Groot is an adolescent now and, according to the parenting books she’s read (which is something she’d never expected to find herself doing) this is a normal phase for him.

That never seems to placate Peter, though.

“You can tell him the pants swap story, then,” she says. “He’ll be very impressed.”

“Yeah, he will be,” he says confidently as they reach the bar and Gamora orders him a water. “Are  _you_  impressed?”

She purses her lips and looks him up and down, then says with as straight a face as she can, “To be honest, I’m more impressed by your tight pants.”

He flushes and puffs his chest out with pride. “Do you wanna go get me out of these?” he asks in a conspiratorial whisper.

She rolls her eyes and points to the glass of water the bartender has just set in front of him. “Why don’t you sober up a little first?”

“Soooooooo.” He looks at her as if he’s trying to read her face, which he’s normally good at even while drunk. “Is that a ‘yes?’”

“It’s a ‘maybe later.’ Now drink.”

He grins like he’s won the lottery and picks up his water. “I still got it.”

Gamora smiles indulgently; he’s a dork, but he’s  _her_  dork. “Yes, you do.”

**Author's Note:**

> Also posted on tumblr [here](https://gamoraspeter.tumblr.com/post/166725650728/pants-swap)!


End file.
